Sacred Death Care Guide

 
 

This is my calling.

At the beginning of February of 2025, I set off on a journey that my soul had been calling me to do. I embarked on a 13 week course to learn and embody the qualities needed to become a Sacred Death Care Guide. A Sacred Death Care Guide has similarities to a death doula yet the difference is that it approaches death from a soul-based perspective. It is not necessarily religious, but definitely has a spiritual base. This work and information isn’t taught anywhere. Yet, I found it. {Cue the Universe clapping!}

I have been pulled at the deepest level to work with those who are dealing with death, dying, grief and loss. People with this calling hold what's called the "Death Walker archetype". Some people hold a “teacher” archetype, some hold a “healer” archetype, some hold the “musician” archetype etc. It just so happens that I hold an archetype that embraces walking with those who are dying, and their families.

I worked in hospice for 4 years, and next to my current practice in Holistic Nursing, I found it to be, far and away, the most rewarding area of nursing. Even so, I deeply felt that there was a piece missing, something MORE, beyond the physical and emotional aspects that I practiced as a hospice nurse.

This soul based course was the "more". For thirteen weeks, a cohort of forty-five of us, referred to as “Awakening Embers”, were held in a strong container of love, listened with open hearts, learning, feeling, understanding, and embodying what is needed to support the souls journey when transitioning to the next realm.

Fact: One Hundred percent of us will successfully die. Yet most people don't like, want, or choose to talk about death or dying. "It's depressing." "It's morbid." "It's too sad."

Yes, it is sad, and it is hard. But, if we meet it with intention, curiosity, open-heartedness and support, death can also be a profound opportunity for living, growth, and community.

I went into the course as one person and stepped out as a new and different person; one who recognizes and listens to the whispers of the soul and greets death with intention and an even deeper level of reverence. The Death Walker in me has been exquisitely nurtured and is now being gently yet intentionally pushed forward.

Back in the beginning of February when the course started, 45 men and women were told that we were Death Walkers and held that archetype. To me it felt odd, uncomfortable, and sticky to say, or maybe just admit, that that was true. But we “learned how to companion the dying, how to sit with sorrow, and how to honor the unseen”. (L.L.) I now wear the Death Walker title proudly. It feels like a comfortable (yet fancy!) shoe. It doesn’t make me feel prickly- it makes me feel warm, open and complete.

As a Sacred Death Care Guide (Death Walker):

I am ready to be seen.

I am ready to guide and support.

I am ready to share my medicine.

I am ready to lend my lack of fear as I listen, free from judgement, and hold a safe space for your most vulnerable and difficult thoughts, feelings, and challenges.

Sunday, May 4th at 3:00 ET, I graduated from the Centre For Sacred Death Care as a Sacred Death Care Guide. It is one of the most meaningful professional things I have accomplished in my lifetime.

If you have a death-related issue; you yourself are dying, you are caring for a loved one who is dying, if you have experienced a recent or distant loss in your life with which you struggle, or are simply interested in how to contribute to society’s efforts to do death better, these are the discussions I am eagerly waiting for. You may not be ready for a discussion now, but when you are, please remember that I am here to talk with you about it and if you need it, I will walk with you on your journey.

"May the medicine that we carry, be lovingly shared far and wide to help people remember what our souls already know." (M.L.)

“Grief doesn’t want to be solved. It wants to be held. Sat with. Witnessed. It shows up like a tide, sometimes soft, sometimes devastating... What you’re carrying is sacred. It’s the shape of love after a loss”
— Tierra Stockham

More about Sacred Death Care

What IS Sacred Death Care?

What if what Ram Dass said is true? That death is like taking off a tight shoe.

In our western culture, we don’t really do death well. It is a natural occurrence that is not talked about nearly enough. People fear death instead of being open to the possibility that it could feel similar to the sigh of relief, liberation, and freedom one encounters when finally taking off a tight shoe.

When I worked as a nurse in hospice care, our focus was to provide emotional support to the dying patient and family and tend to the physical body as death neared. We taught the dying and their families how to prepare for and deal with the physical and some emotional challenges of dying, and what to watch for as the last breath was surrendered. That, in and of itself, was a lot.

But there is so much more.

Western medicine and hospice care beautifully embraces the mind and body, the emotional and the physical, but not the soul. There is no fault or blame there; we simply haven’t been given the tools to understand the depth of importance in knowing and caring for the soul piece.

Until now.

There are very real, non-physical experiences that the soul encounters. Sarah Kerr, founder of the Centre of Sacred Deathcare, describes Sacred Death Care as “giving language and structure to the non-ordinary experiences around dying, death, and dead people. It provides a framework for understanding the spiritual dynamics of death and loss, and offers practical healing tools to help navigate these experiences with grace and ease.”

The Difference between hospice services, a death doula, and a sacred death care guide.

Hospice is medical care for those who are expected to live six months or less. They provide a multidisciplinary team to manage a patients symptoms through the end of life and support the family members caring for the dying. The team generally includes nurses, physicians, chaplains, social workers, and nurses aids. The services are covered by medicare, medicaid, and commercial insurance. {learn more}

Death Doulas are non-medical professionals who provide support and guidance for people facing death and their loved ones. They help navigate the dying process based on the spiritual perspective of the dying person and their families, help plan for the end of life, help cope with grief, and provide non-medical services to provide respite for care-givers. {learn more}

Sacred Death Care Guides (SDCG), support those who resonate with nature-based spirituality and want to meet death in a sacred way but may not be able to articulate what they believe or may need. SDCG’s do not just prepare and support patients and their loved ones during the time leading up to death, but also during, and after the last breath. After the last breath is where much of the really deep work begins. They embody curiosity instead of fear and support instead of isolation when facing death. And it is their belief that if death is done well, it can even create a beautiful village-making event.

What might you experience if you hire me as a SDCG.

As an RN, I combine my sacred death care principles with a nursing/medical background of the disease process. Although my focus is on the SDC piece, I am able to discuss and share any and all medical knowledge within my scope. The following are examples of things that you would/could experience in a SDC session. As your Sacred Death Care Guide I will:

  • lend you my lack of fear as I listen and hold a safe space for your most vulnerable and difficult thoughts, feelings, and challenges, free from judgement,

  • help you face what is real and true so you can move forward,

  • help you slow things down so that you can process and move your grief with openness and love,

  • share versions and stories of the soul’s journey through the natural cycle of dying, grief, death and loss,

  • expand your understanding of death and dying with new perspectives,

  • work with you to create deep, meaningful rituals to acknowledge every part of the dying process,

  • guide you through the ways to heal and assist your transformation to the next, new and different phase of life after death,

  • follow your lead, allow you to set the intentions of the session, and/or provide new perspectives for you to consider as you heal.

Who Would Benefit from Sacred Death Care Services?

  • Someone who has been given a terminal diagnosis and is trying to find ways to make peace with the circumstances and people around them,

  • A care giver or family member of a client or a loved one, who would like to have “tools” to openly talk about death and dying,

  • Anyone who is interested in learning how to openly address death and dying with a soul-based perspective, seeking a nature-based spiritual framework,

  • Anyone who has recently (or long ago) lost a loved one -including a beloved pet- and is feeling (or still feels) stuck and unable to move forward,

  • Any person who is grieving a lost body part to illness or disease,

  • Any person newly diagnosed with a life changing illness,

  • Hospice, clergy, social workers, physicians or volunteers who are looking to deepen their patient care experience with a soul-based understanding.

  • Any person looking to learn more about Sacred Death Care practices.

Are you or someone you know struggling with a past or impending death? This is a safe space for healing and a soft place to land as you navigate this crazy time. It would be my honor to work with you.