I’m a veteran

(United States Navy 1990-1998)

In January of 1990, the middle of my junior year of nursing school, I joined the United States Navy under the BDCP (the Bachelors Degree Completion Program) initiative. I signed up and they paid me as an E-3 until I graduated. During that time, my assignment was to go to school and maintain a 3.0 GPA. I also had to be able to pass my PRT (Physical Readiness Test), run one and a half miles, do sit ups, push ups and touch my toes. If the recruit officer needed my help with anything, I was also assigned to help her. But, in essence, I received my base pay, which I used to pay for my schooling, housing allowance and food allowance; Not a bad deal!

In return for the pay I would receive during these 18+ months, I committed to serving a total of 8 years of service; 4 active duty and 4 inactive reserves. In May of 1991, after I graduated with my Bachelors Degree in Nursing. I set off to Pensacola, Florida for Officer Indoctrination School where I learned the rules and regulations of the Navy. I was taught who to salute, how to wear my uniform, the lyrics and tune of “Anchors Aweigh”, the ranks of all service members and as my ex-father-in-law used to say, “how to stand watch over the latrine” as we all assigned a “watch duty” (or doody as the case may be!). It was one of the scariest, most intimidating weeks of my life. (I can still hear the haunting voice of Master Sergeant Ryan as he bellowed out commands…”Eyes front Matteson!!”) The duty station to which I was assigned was Bethesda, Maryland at the National Naval Medical Center. There I served my full active duty time before returning home to New Hampshire.

Although being away from my family was difficult, I don’t regret a minute of it. I learned about structure, chain-of-command, discipline, independence and pride. I ranked in the top one percent of my peers and LOVED my job as an evening charge nurse on a Neurology, Neurosurgery & ENT floor. As a new nurse on a diverse Medical-Surgical floor, I was exposed to many interesting and terrifying conditions; from brain & throat cancers, neurological conditions likely a result of exposure to toxins overseas, to the occasional face lift of a high ranking officer’s spouse.

Coming home after my tour was difficult. I had my first daughter while on active duty in Bethesda and at 18 months, we moved back to New Hampshire to reunite our family. Although I loved the new-found 1-on-1 time with my daughter, it was a huge transition going from an officer in charge to being a full time mother and wife with no immediate job and where no one, much to my initial dismay, really “followed orders”. :) I was a bit lost. I had no idea who I was as I left behind the safe structured job and work family, and “shipmates” whom I had grown to love. But I had left Bethesda with pride, organization and motivation and a strange sense of freedom that was foreign.

I benefited greatly from the privilege to serve our country. I find that I have an instant sense of trust and camaraderie when I meet others whom have also served. Being a veteran has given me the ability to connect deeply with other veterans.

All of that said, I couldn’t be any more different now than I was then. The thought of the degree of structure, rules and all of those people I saluted over those years because of rank (and not necessarily because of their personal integrity) makes me… grateful. Grateful for having had my own incredible experience, for the level of understanding I have for those who serve and have served and for my DD-214: military discharge papers. It was a priceless chapter in becoming who I am today.

Whether you experienced trauma, separation anxiety or a general lost feeling after leaving the military, I can relate and help guide you through to safety. The unofficial motto of the Navy is, “Non sibi sed Patrias” which translates to “Not self but country”. I would extend that sentiment even further now and make my motto “Non sibi pro omni humano genere” which translates to “Not self but for all humankind”.