Thursday’s Dead Serious Thoughts: The power of deathbed rituals.

The word "ritual" can sound woo-woo for sure but contrary to popular belief, all rituals don't contain a witches caldron and an eye of newt.

We participate in rituals all throughout our lives. Placing candles on a cake and blowing them out on our birthday is a ritual. Graduations- moving a tassel from one side of a cap to another is a ritual. They are everywhere.

When someone is dying, energy can be either dammed up, where people are so paralyzed by what is happening that they can't talk or even think about what is happening, or they are flooded- things are chaotic and so overwhelming that their energy is all over the place and they can't make a decision, don't know where to turn, or what to do next.

The energy of grief and love are the same energy. (opposite sides of the same ribbon)

A ritual creates riverbanks, which gives the grief and love a contained structure to flow and move, without creating a dam or a flood. When that energy keeps moving, the overwhelm lessens.

Giving a group of loved ones a "talking rock" or similar item to hold and pass, gives them to speak, uninterrupted, about the dying person. The topic could be, what do you love about them? Or What have they taught you? How have they impacted your life? Or what is your favorite sweet/funny memory? The structure provides flow, safety, and presence and helps to slow things down. It not only allows one person to speak, but gives the listeners an opportunity to support & understand each other through listening, being present, and really sitting in the moment and feeling what is happening.

Yes. It is still sad.

But finding a way to contain the energy and not let it run wild or stop helps not only the dying person, but also the people being left behind.

If you would like help creating your own personal ritual before, during, or after death, please reach out. I am happy to help.